Miss me with your concern over Epstein’s victims.
Rape and sexual abuse is ubiquitous in our culture.We will believe you when you believe us.
Content warning: sexual assault and rape discussion.
Yesterday, I shared a post from Joe Walsh. Yes, that Joe Walsh. I follow the republican, perhaps former republican or just never Trumper, simply because I feel it is important to listen to those who have been on the inside and had a change of thought, heart, moral conviction or whatever. Whether their change is legit or not, there is insight to be learned.
Joe Walsh
As a survivor, I do not understand why so many think proving that Trump sexually abused teenage girls will take him down. Is it the number of victims? Is it that they were seemingly all white girls? Is it because people are just trying to find anything that will stick to take Trump out?
The truth is that this country hates women.
I say that without any hesitation. We really, really hate women. The only group we hate more than women are Black women. And it’s not just men doing the hating; some women hate women too. For women to rise to any kind of power or prominence in politics and many other areas, you have to uphold the norms and laws against women all the same.
The simple fact is that people only care about sexual assaults when it is advantageous for them to do so.
We are a country of professed morality and ethics, but no action. It is written in our founding, The Declaration of Independence, “All men are created equal,” and yet that did not include women. At the same time, The Constitution included the Three-Fifths Compromise clearly negating equality for all. This dichotomy is clearly visible today with politicians and leaders constantly saying they want to get to the bottom of the Epstein sex trafficking, yet doing everything they can to sabotage it including shutting the entire government down and denying food to their own constituents.
Rape and sexual abuse is ubiquitous in our culture.
Today, we have a known pedophile for president. Today, millions of American women and girls do not even have control over their own bodies. Today, women can be charged with a felony should they try and receive reproductive healthcare in another state. Today, states are considering tracking their menstrual cycles. Today, little girls are forced to have their father’s, uncle’s, brother’s, pastor’s babies. Today, hospitals will force families to keep a brain dead pregnant woman alive to incubate a child that is not even viable.
Today, women and girls are being sexually assaulted in their homes. Today, they are being told no one will believe them in their churches, synagogues and mosques. Today, they are being told by their doctors, dentists and bosses that they asked for it. Today, they are raped in ICE custody, in prisons, in mental health facilities, in shelters, in schools, on college campuses. Today, they are being assaulted in academies as hazing, in offices lest they not get that promotion, in the back of police cars.
Today, women and girls are afraid to report because their families and loved ones do not believe them. Today, police will dispute their testimonies. Today, medical examiners will not complete the rape kits properly. Today, police departments will refuse to process those kits. Today, prosecutors will ask what they were wearing. Today, judges will say it wasn’t that bad of a sexual assault. Today, their perpetrators will be set free even with video evidence. Today, convicted rapists will be let go with lifetime probation. Today, a rapist who pleads guilty to lesser charges will not have to register as a sex offender.
Today, a media outlet will report another young rapist’s career has been ruined. Today, a court will let a famous rapist go because he is too old to pay for his crimes. Today, a rapist will be freed because there were procedural errors in the trial. Today, a sexual abuser will be set free because his victim is non-verbal and cannot testify. Today, a man will be given leniency because his family is prominent in his community. Today, charges are being dropped because people, both men and women, in the systems meant to hold offenders accountable are filled with people who do not believe the stories of women and girls.
Many of us survivors had hope with the #MeToo movement. Even that was turned inside out and simply weaponized against women and girls. It the end, it simply created more rape porn and little else. In speaking and writing about my own rape in the Border Patrol academy, I am met with people constantly wanting me to relive it in graphic detail. When I refuse and say it is documented in my book, the response is often hostile and my interviews are often cancelled by the interviewer for lack of cooperation. It was never going to be enough just to tell our stories. We must relive it over and over.
And this is not limited to women and girls as victims. Just ask the men and boys who were victims of the Catholic Church.
For things to change, we must take action. Our leaders must pass laws. Women and children must be considered equal and not second class citizens in our laws, but we cannot wait for them to do it for us. We must do the work ourselves. We must monitor which legislators refuse to vote for laws that will hold sexual offenders accountable. We must create databases within our communities of offenders. We must fill the courtrooms in support of victims not just when we know them personally, but every single time. We must watch as judges let offenders go even with undeniable evidence. We must document the judges giving light sentences and make others aware of their histories when they come up for reelection. We must share information of predators with each other, make it known we will not back down and that we will accept nothing less than an all of community approach to this epidemic.
Americans did not care when Trump was caught talking on a hot mic about sexually assaulting women. They did not care that he sexually abused E. Jean Carroll. They did not care that he admitted to going into the teenage dressing rooms of girls in his pageants as they changed clothes. They did not care when he was caught saying he could be dating a 12-year-old girl in a few years, or when he said he would date his own daughter if he could. I do not believe Americans will care even if they see Trump on video having sex with a 15-year-old. I do not believe Americans will care because they have not believed at least 28 women who have told their #MeToo stories about Trump.
We will believe you when you believe us.